she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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