I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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