I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
