i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I think a kid would responsible me up
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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