OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Randomize
