After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
