I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
