Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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