You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You're a waste of cheezeits
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
