cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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