just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I came so hard my ears popped.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
