i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
