im drinking this country out of the recession.
Apparently you make a good broom.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
