I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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