yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
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