i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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