:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
