i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
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