"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
