i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
