What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
