We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
