the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
