I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I think I sprained my soul last night
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
