absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
