How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
