Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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