About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
