I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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