i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Randomize
