so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
