Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
