can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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