she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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