the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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