dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
