i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
