Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
