so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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