well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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