I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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