you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
