I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I think a kid would responsible me up
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
