what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
