I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
the night ended with taco bell and tears
The air was thick with penises
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
