You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
