i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
