I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
