i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
