It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
